random thoughts

Something never fails to bewilder me. How can anything go wrong in a short time? It would logically seem that something that takes a thousand years to build would require at least hundreds of years to take down, but things just don't seem to work that way. Empires that take hundreds of years to build can be crushed in a few days. A castle that takes years to build can be defeated in hours. A piece of work painstakingly done over a few days can be gone in mins. And friendships built over 4 years can be gone in a week.

Now that we do not have an answer as to why things can go wrong in such a short time, we think about what could have caused it to go wrong. but usually the answer will evade the seeker for a long time. It takes long studies by generations down the road to finally figure out how an empire collapsed in a few days. It takes structural engineers and warfare historians months to figure out how a castle did not withstand an attack. It takes weeks, months, even years before you figure out why someone would destroy a piece of work you spent so much time on. but sadly, lost friendships are seldom figured out.

Why? Why is it that while it takes a long time to figure out some things, some things are never figured out? If you bring it with regards to friendship, the answer is surprisingly simple. EGO.

A mutual trust that disappears between people may leave the people involved stunned as to why it can happen. But if they are looking for an answer, they need not look any further than at themselves. This is when ego comes in. It steps in, shields the people from the answer, and leave red herrings everywhere, usually at other people. Few people realise that when friendships are lost, usually BOTH OR ALL the parties involved are at fault. It is seldom the fault of anyone solely. Yet ego tends to block this from being seen, from being realised.

Anyway, moving on to another thought, ever since something happened a few years back, i'm been pretty obsessed with this number 30 000. especially if this number is linked to finances. How much difference can $30 000 do to a person? to his family? A lot, it seems, at this point in time. Sleepless nights, quarrels, brainstorming, changes in attitude, bonds forged, bonds broken. You name it, you probably have it. Both fortunately and unfortunately, this changes take place internally, and is seldom detected by anyone not involved, unless they are esp observant and close to the people involved. Fortunate because it keeps out unwanted nosying by unwanted people, unfortunate because some close friends or potentially close friends do not understand the change, do not understand the circumstances, do not understand the gravity of the circumstances. People who have not been involved with this number, 30 000, do not fully understand the actions, mentality, and attitude of people who are involved. This makes it tough for people involved to fit in with the rest. Life has always been a juggling act, and this juggling act just got tougher.

Anyway, i always believed in the saying that no one is irreplaceable. but yet, i'm being forced to eat my own words. and in dire circumstances as well. It brings to mind something mentioned in "the day the earth stood still", that only in dire circumstances do people change. Why? Wouldn't it be better off if people changed before encountering those circumstances?

It's ok. I've learned many lessons. And i'll remember them. every single one of them.

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